Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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