It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize