how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
