Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
