Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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