great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize