My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
