Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
