Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i drank out of a bidet.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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