plz talk dirty to me
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
