This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
