I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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