i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
