if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
