Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
