Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
