im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Need sex. Gaining weight.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
