i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
