Non-Jews are for practice
I cockslap morals
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
