You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The feeling are messing with the penis
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
