Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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