So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize