It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
