batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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