Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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