...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
