I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
