I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
