Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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