Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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