i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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