Soap is not a condiment
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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