u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize