Sry I called you an 8
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
