Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
If its not for food we ain't going out.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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