How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
