Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
