Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
