the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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