I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
