I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
