I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
