Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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