Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
