I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
