i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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