am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I want to be your penis for a week.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
