there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
