Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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