oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize