He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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