Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
