come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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