he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
