Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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