please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize