that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
