just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Enjoy the penises
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
