I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
