And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
All the doctor said was why
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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