So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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