we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
