hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize