oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
